“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25, ESV)
This passage has, well, haunted me for the last 12 months or so. Haunted may not be the exact word I’m looking for, but it certainly paints the kind of picture I mean. This passage has taken a prominent place in my grey matter, in the forefront of my brain as I have chewed on, tasted, pondered and prayed about what it really means to love my wife as Christ loved the church.
And that’s where all roads lead for me. That’s where it starts. How did Christ love the church? What is the model he established in his life on earth? I believe the essence of it can be said in one word. Christ loved the church sacrificially. I know that conjures up pictures of the cross, and while that was certainly the final and ultimate sacrifice that he gave, I want to dig deeper and go farther in exploring it. You see, I believe that’s the way Christ lived for the church. His thirty-three years on this planet in the form of a man, although we really only have the details of his last three years, were spent spending himself, emptying himself, giving himself for the church in both the current form he lived in and the “new” church we see birthed in the book of Acts.
But we will get to all that. I’ve got lots of verses and thoughts rattling around in my head that are seemingly unrelated at first, but the more I chew on them, the more I meditate on them, the more I look at them, the more I dig into them, the more related I find them to be. (Isn’t that the way the Bible is anyway? It’s all related. It all tells one story from beginning to end, from Genesis to Revelation. Sheesh! Sometimes I’m a little slow…)
I don’t know how many parts there will be to this blog series. I don’t know if they will come sequentially. There may be other blogs sprinkled in along the way as the Lord lays it on my heart. But this topic is a burden on my heart and something I feel compelled to write about.
I see friends and family hurting. I see their spouses hurting. I see husbands and wives hurting each other by their own actions, or by their own inactions. I see them living in these ruts of complacency and resigning themselves to an attitude of “this is just how it is.” They have no clue how to get out of the rut and acknowledge that it’s possible to have a marriage that is exciting, alive, and vibrant. I see with them empathy and compassion and my heart breaks for them. I am burdened for them. I so want to go over, grab their shoulders, shake, and yell “Wake UP! This is NOT what God had in mind! You don’t want to go where this road (rut) leads you!”
A friend of mine once said that every relationship needs a redeemer. Someone who will stand up and choose to redeem the relationship in spite of all the past and all the crap and move forward regardless of the response to of the other person. I like that. That’s what Jesus did. He redeemed us regardless of our response to him. The marriage relationship is a physical picture of that spiritual relationship with Jesus. In our spiritual relationship, Jesus is the redeemer. In spite of our sin and regardless of whether or not we ever respond to him, Jesus came to redeem us and restore our relationship with God.
Relationships struggle. A “struggling” relationship, mind you, is a subjective measurement. It might mean something totally different to you than it does to your neighbor, to me, to your spouse, or to anyone else for that matter. While it takes two to tango, while lack luster or struggling relationships are not the fault of only one person, I do believe most of the time it is the husband’s responsibility and opportunity to step up and be the man God created him to be. I believe so many men have just given up and become the lazy, selfish, buffoons our society and Hollywood have depicted the “everyday husband” to be; the one who sits on the couch and expects his wife to do everything; the one whose basic attitude is “you are here to serve me.” Unfortunately, this attitude prevails all through our society. Husbands, wives, children, employees, employers, politicians, and preachers all fall prey to this insidious and pervasive attitude. Our I’ve just gotten to the place where I wonder how many men would make the changes if they could practically apply how Christ loved the church to their own lives of loving their wives.
So… stay tuned. Provide feedback. This is a road we will walk together. Forward this to those you think might be interested. Seriously, provide comments and feeback through the blogsite. Provide thoughts, ideas, topics that go in this general vein. It should be a fun journey.
Running After Papa…