“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,“ (Ephesians 5:25, ESV)
OK. Here we go. Let’s start with the first word of this passage. Husbands… I’ve picked up over the years – through listening to good teachers and preachers – two study methods that we’re going to employ in this part of the study: The first is what I’ll call “Original Language” – what does our English word really mean in the original Greek or Hebrew language. Often, we don’t get a good picture of the word by our English translation of it. The second study method we’ll look at is what I’ll call “First Use” – in other words, when was this word first used in the Bible. So let’s dive in.
The Greek word that is translated into “husbands” in this verse is (phonetically) “anēr”. It is translated into lots of interesting words, the three most common are “husband” (53 times), man (69 times) and men (69 times). The word map below shows the various translations of the Greek word. The bigger the word, the more its use.
There is one interesting translation that I want to look at and that’s the translation into “manhood” (as the ESV translates it). It is used in the following verse:
Ephesians 4:11-13 (ESV) 11 And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,
“Manhood” in verse 13 is the same word found in Ephesians 5:25 translated as “Husbands.” This passage teaches that God has given each of us gifts (apostles, prophets, etc) in order to build up the body of Christ until we are all “… to mature manhood.” The King James translates that phrase “… unto a perfect man”, the New Living says “…mature in the Lord”, The Message says “… fully mature adults.” You get the idea.
The same word that means “husband” also means “manhood” and implies maturity in this verse. I guess we could draw a correlation that how we husband our wives is a direct reflection of our manhood which is a directly tied to our maturity in Christ. Christ is the perfect man and HE is the model for us to strive toward.
To be a good husband is to be a real man. How different is that than what society crams down our throats?
I’ll also point out that this word has little to do with being married. While marriage is the picture God gives us, remember that Jesus was the perfect husband, yet he was not physically married. As we’ll discover, it is an attitude of humility and service.
Let’s look at the first use of the word “husband” in the Bible. It’s found in Genesis (surprise, surprise) in the Garden.
Genesis 3:6 (NKJV)
6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.
Oh Jiminy! Here is the first use of the word “husband” and the context of this verse is a whole other blog topic. We don’t see “husband” in a good light here. Adam is standing right there with Eve while she’s evaluating, picking, eating and giving the forbidden fruit to him! Again, this is a whole different blog topic for another day.
This does, however, bring up an interesting thought. You cannot have a husband without a wife, so what is the first reference to “wife?”
Before we look at the first reference to the word “wife”, let’s do a quick study on the wife – this creature God fashioned specifically for man; this most creative piece of all of God’s workmanship.
Genesis 2:18 (NKJV)
18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
Let’s look at those two words: “helper” and “comparable”…
The Hebrew word for “helper” is “ezer” which means “1. helper, assistant, i.e., one who assists and serves another with what is needed; 2. help, assistance, i.e., acts of supplying what is needed to another; 3. strength, formally, help, i.e., power to accomplish a task”
The Hebrew word for “comparable” (New King James Version) is “neged” which means: “counterpart, i.e., that object which is corresponding or like another object”
Webster’s defines “corresponding” as “having or participating in the same relationship (as kind, degree, position, correspondence, or function) especially with regard to the same or like wholes”
So, you could rewrite Genesis 2:18 to say “… I will make him a counterpart of equal relationship to supply what is needed for him to accomplish what I have for him to do…”
Doesn’t that change the way you look at what God has provided? Do you see you wife differently in that simple understanding of what the translated words mean?
Look at how the Amplified bible put it: 18 Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.
I love that! A “helper meet” – suitable, adapted, and complementary.
So then, where is this word, “wife”, first used? Its a few verses later.
Genesis 2:24 (NKJV)
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Isn’t this a crazy place for this verse? Adam and Eve had no earthly father and mother. This is immediately after God presented Eve to Adam. This is the first marriage. This is the model. This is the example. This sets up what all of humanity is to copy and emulate for the rest of time.
There’s another model we are supposed to emulate for the rest of time. It’s the key verse of this topic series. Does “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,“ sound familiar? In light of this, I believe God gave us this verse, at this time, to show us a deeper truth. Remember that the physical marriage of a man and a woman is also the model of Christ and the Church. So if the Church is the wife and Christ is the husband, re-read Genesis 2:24. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Jesus left heaven. He left his Godship. He came to earth to be “joined to” his wife – the church. The Hebrew word used for “joined to” (or “cleave” as the King James puts it) is dabaq.
1815 דָּבַק (dā∙ḇǎq): 1. cling to, i.e., fasten oneself to an object (Ru 1:14; 2Sa 23:10; Job 29:10); stick to (Eze 3:26; 29:4b); joined fast, be stuck together (Job 38:38; 41:9); be made to cleave, stick to (Ps 22:16); 2. stay close, formally, cling, i.e., be in close proximity to another object (Ru 2:8); 3. catch up, overtake, engage, i.e., make linear motion to come to the same place as another person or party, for either favorable or hostile intent (Ge 31:23; Jdg 18:22; 20:42, 45; 1Sa 14:22; 31:2; 2Sa 1:6; 1Ch 10:2); 4. be united, joined, i.e., be in a close association, implying a normal continuing relationship (Ge 2:24); be associated, formally, bind, i.e., be in a close association as a figurative extension of a belt fastening objects together (Jer 13:11);
Jesus left Heaven to dabaq with us, his wife. This is the model he has demonstrated for us as husbands.
So you could rewrite Gen 2:24 as: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and fasten himself, unite with, and be associated and bound to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Dr. Benjamin B. Phillips of Southwestern Theological Seminary wrote this in his Practical Theology class of Fall 2007:
Jesus Christ loves the church so much that he caused himself to identify with it. To love our wives as Christ loves the church means to identify with them.
That’s the essence of “cleaving” or being “joined to” your wife – to identify with her. We’ll discuss this more in another study.
Recapping today’s thoughts:
1. How we husband (regardless of if we are married or not) directly reflects our maturity in Christ. “Husbanding” is manhood.
2. Our wives are our “helper meet” – specifically created to complement and supply what we need for us to do what God has for us to do.
3. Jesus left Heaven to dabaq with us. This is the model we are to follow.\
Running After Papa…