For the last few months we’ve known it was coming. Noel – our 13-year old Maltese was losing her battle with cancer.
We took Noel to the vet in September of last year to have a fairly large growth removed from her abdomen. By November, it had begun to grow back and much more agressively. In December we took her to the vet because of an eye infection and the vet told us she probably had 2 or 3 months at the rate the cancer was growing back.
Here it is, the end of February, and the poor girl has really gone downhill fast. For the last two weeks she’s lived in and out of severe and continual pain, causing her to yelp anytime anyone came close. Many nights she would wake us in the middle of the night yelping in pain as she changed position in her sleep.
Noel has been a good friend to us for the last 13 years. She is the only dog my children have really known. My oldest (bio baby) was a 1 year old when we got her. Knowing that we would have to put her down has been a difficult and painful decision. We made arrangements with the Vet to take her in this morning. I’ve talked for the last few weeks through this with the kids, especially the three biological kids because they grew up with Noel, and we’ve explained how painful it is for her and how unfair it would be to keep her in pain just so we could see her laying on the floor. The cancer has really taken it’s toll on her body over the last few weeks. She just can’t get comfortable and she’s withering away. Sometimes she just stands in the middle of the floor for over an hour as if she’s lost or totally confused. It is sad.
I paint this picture to tell you that although I could logically reconcile why putting her down is in her best interest, it is still somewhat emotional. I have done well in letting the logic overrule the emotion of it all… until this morning…
My middle biological child, a daughter – who is by far the most sensative child we have – said her “goodbye” to Noel before she left for school. I could see the tears welling up in her big brown eyes and the hurt in her heart. Seeing my child hurting tipped the scale to push emotion beyond the logic involved. I began to weep with her. I hated seeing my baby hurting. I’m crying now, as I write this just remembering her hurt.
After she left for school, I asked Father what was the lesson in this. He told me this:
“Just like you hurt when your child is hurting, I hurt when my child is hurting. I hate to see my children hurting.“
As I’ve learned to do this past year, I went straight to the Word. I always find comfort there. I have another blog to post as an addendum to “Standing Firm in Weakness” that I posted a week or so ago and it has to do with comfort.
I consider myself a good father. I love my children deeply. But, God is teaching me that my love for my own children IN NO WAY compares to His love for me (and you).
Matthew 7:11 (NIV)
11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Luke 11:13 (NIV)
13 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
God can give so much more to His children than I can give to my own children. I can try to give comfort, and sometimes it helps, but I can’t give The Comforter, the Holy Spirit. Only Papa gives that.
John 14:16
16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;
In the King James Version, the Holy Spirit is also referred to as the Comforter in 14:26, 15:26, and 16:7. The point is, this is one of the ways God does “…immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine… (Eph 3:20)”
In Acts 9:31, the church grew in “… the comfort of the Holy Spirit…”
Reflection:
1. How do you comfort your children when they are hurting?
2. How did your father comfort you as a child?
3. How does Father comfort you now?
4. Does your relationship with Father bring you comfort or make you uncomfortable? Why?
Pray with me:
Daddy,
I know you love me more than I can ever imagine. I know you hurt when I am hurting. You are a good Father. You lavish gifts on me that I cannot even imagine and gifts that I cannot often see. I know you have sent your Spirit to comfort me and to be my Comforter. Help me today in my hurting. Help me lead my children to comfort in The Comforter and not in earthly things that make them feel comfortable. You are my hero and I want to be like you. Amen.
Running After Papa…